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We are writing to advise you that thepigturd is amending its payment model for our trashlators to bring the company into line with other linguistic sausage producers extruding what is required to service our government and corporate clientele. These rape rate adjustments are necessary in response to how these organisations operate, which has exerted downward pressure on our obscene margins. Coupled with an increased cost of sales and cocaine, and a significantly extended sales plunder cycle, margins have eroded to the point where the rates we currently pay are in conflict with our CEO’s need for a more competitive compensation package and an upgrade to his private jet.
I would like to explain our efforts as a global provider of state-of-the-art HITL trashlation, locosation and interpreting solutions in over 250,000 languages to forge bonds for you as one of those little cogs in a wheel of 400,000 cunning linguists in more than 700 countries who slave for us every month at the wordface.
At present, thepigturd employs a revolving cast of sales characters worldwide who, as a group take many trips each month, scouring the astral plane with their full intelligence to create artificial opportunities to train our post-editing algorithms so we can justify the next round of best rates. These martyrs to the Cause spend many a night far from home and family, working the conference circuit and suffering liver and septum damage with only a lap dance and another round for comfort at those lonely business functions. We employ further specialists selected for their experience in hair styling and pizza delivery to recruit, interview and impose unpaid tests on you suckers to maintain our celebrated standards of sausage service. Moreover, we maintain a staff of 600 special agents in our 12 global offices to monitor our global wordforce and ensure no communication between end customers and yourselves. Today’s market competition also compels us to keep over three score staff for technology innovation to improve internal efficiency and screw down costs to provide all our executives with state-of-the-art company transport modalities and other perks they deserve, and that you need to represent your servitude to our world.
However, having said all of this, never before has our industry experienced such huge downward bowel pressure from both the private and public sector to reduce prices. It’s even worse than last year when we were compelled to send you that year’s rate adjustment notice. And the year before that. And the prior year. This is simply a reaction to the state of the world economy and the fact that our CEO cannot show his face in public without shame as long as his compensation is so far below that of his peer in charge of Tesla. At thepigturd we endeavour to keep our rates at the highest level possible whilst keeping your compensation in line, but as long as we continue to pay you, your rates will further impact the company’s profitability and the job satisfaction of those who live off your efforts. Therefore, with effect from Thursday 22nd August, thepigturd will reverse our payment model in the hopes that profits can remain at record levels, and our representatives can travel in style as they seek new post-editing challenges for you to achieve the professional exposure you crave. Your payments per word assigned will be calculated without match discounts (so many of you complained about these, and we listened!) and will be gratefully received by us on net 10 days terms. Failure to pay on time may result in us being compelled to take your firstborn and/or favorite pet as collateral until settlement.
These rate changes are not retrospective but will apply to any new work received from Thursday 22nd August 2024, though reductions in current projects as voluntary contributions to executive relief fund at thepigturd will be given due consideration in the priority assignment of future projects.
One of those days it was that I had decided to walk down town. Walking keeps you in shape. Everybody knows that. And so does using a bicycle instead of a motorbike. I do both. I walk and I cycle.
Moving slowly also has it advantages. One sees everything and discovers a lot. My favourite way of getting to know and becoming familiar with a new town. New for me that is. As I was walking along on and off the pavement, as cars are parked wherever the driver thinks it’s okay, I spotted a new restaurant. Noodle Soup Restaurant LC 30,000 Kip any bowl of soup. Hey! That’s not bad at all! I peeked inside. Everything looked clean and well organised.
Trying it out
Let’s give it a try I thought as I felt a bit hungry. There is Chinese noodle soup with beef, pork, chicken, a fried egg, or even a Vietnamese style noodle soup. I decided on the fried egg one. It comes with a little bit of pork on the bone as well.
Friendly service
Your soup is served fast and in a friendly manner. And if ever they have run out of some of the ingredients they will quickly walk to the nearby market to buy some. You will never have to wait long for a delicious noodle soup coming your way. The owner on the left and her assistant cannot speak English. They can speak some Chinese, do understand Thai, and are of course fluent in Laotian.
Location
Noodle Soup Restaurant LC
The name shown is the name of a restaurant that was there before. Noodle Soup Restaurant LC is a new restaurant at the same location.
Blossoming trees and bushes complemented with flowering perennials. In Laos you will see flowers all year round. Beautiful flowers decorating streets, hill slopes, and gardens perfume the ambient air with natural scents and fragrances. Jasmine, magnolia, mock orange and sweet orange blooms, to name a few, turn your evening strolls into a heavenly delight. Big flowers, small flowers, and blossoms in a myriad of colours. A feeling of Sakura throughout the year.
Nature
An astounding nature that reflects an amazing biodiversity with many species yet to be discovered. A rich diversity of cultures, peoples, and the folklores of their various communities. That’s also Laos.
Geography
Laos shares borders with Thailand in the West, China and Burma in the North, Vietnam in the East, and Cambodia in the South. From the north to the south there are 18 provinces stretching along 1,362 km.
Tourism
Laos offers many interesting tourist destinations. The capital Vientiane on the Mekong features a victory monument called Patusai — Victory Gate literally — which vaguely resembles the l’Arc de Triomphe in Paris.
Chedis and Temples
The capital is also renowned for its monumental chedis (Buddhist stupas) That Luang (the Golden Chedi) and That Dam (the Black Chedi). Temples remind of Thai temples be it though that they radiate a slightly higher level of finesse. “Same, same but different”, one would say.
Monumental buildings
Much worth a photo shoot is the Embassy of Brunei dar es Salaam with its enticing architectural buildings painted in a soft pastel colour palette of pink and sky blue shades. No, you cannot enter its premises without a proper invitation. Taking pictures from the street side is however easy enough.
Patu Xai
Lao National Cultural Hall
Embassy of Brunei dar es Salam
The Living Library
That Dam small stupa
Water
Laos is landlocked. So, no seashores. No scarcity of natural waters though. From the magnificent Mekong to large lakes, and mysterious streams disappearing into enchanting caves, Laos has it all.
The North
The North features places like Vang Vien with it’s mysterious caves of which some are still waiting to be fully explored. Tam Pou Kham cave for instance and the world famous water cave Tham Chang. Then there is Nam Song river — one of the many tributaries to the MeKong river. An excellent place to relax whenever you feel overwhelmed with the magnificent scenery of the North. Nam Song river is a popular tourist destination and the road leading to it offers many view points. Ideal for selfie addicts who want to indulge in becoming part of the magnificent scenery. You will also discover spots that will add lustre to professional photo shoots.
Plane of Jars
Then there is the Plane of Jars. An enigmatic place with ancient jars in various sizes covering large plots of land. Only a small part is accessible while the rest of the plane is littered with unexploded ordnance and landmines that still need to be cleared.
Vat Phou and the Bolaven Plateau
Travelling to Champasak province In the South, places you definitely should not miss out on are the ancient Vat Phou temple and the Bolaven Plateau.
How about a Waterfall trek in Pakse including the Zip Line Experience at Tad Fane Waterfall? Then make sure not to miss out on the largest waterfall in South East Asia as well; the Khorepahphong waterfall. You will love to show your friends on social media that you have been there.
Pakse district has the best coffee to be found in Laos. Tourists often buy a number of packs to take home as a souvenir.
Khammouane Province
Let’s continue and visit Phu Pha Marn. A leading tourist attraction in Khammouane Province.
Savannakhet
Some more top attractions to visit in Savannakhet province are: That Ing Hang, the Savannakhet Dinosaur Museum, and Vat Xayaphoum temple.
A nation united in diversity. That’s Laos.
[This essay is a work in progress. It’s going to be longer while more pictures will be added.]
Content partially provided by Ms Ai (Oulayvanh Vayyakone) as part of an assignment by teacher Walter to write an essay on Laos … Land of flowers … Land of diversity [April 2024]
2 responses to “Laos …”
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Oanh, the chef, is from Vietnam. Vietnamese, Laotian (Isaan), European, Chinese, and Thai dishes. She does it all, and fast.
What happened
Yes, that’s the same Oanh who previously ran a restaurant downstairs at the Rainbow hotel. Oanh prefers to be addressed as either An or Mama. So now you know how to quickly get her attention.
Lots of fun and a friendly ambience aside, the Rainbow Hotel proved not to be the right place to run a profitable restaurant. The rent was rather high and budgets of many a guest a bit on the low side. Oanh, the chef, decided to move place.
Welcome
Oanh started to look for something more suitable to her needs and ambition to run a more upgraded restaurant. Then one day, still downtown at walking distance from the Rainbow Hotel she found an existing restaurant waiting for a new managing chef. Inside the Mali Nam Phu that is.
The Mali Nam Phu is a 2 star hotel with a long standing reputation of excellence.
To the test
We couldn’t resist checking it out ^_^
Good to be with friends
Marvellous … copious … highly nutritious. We just loved the extended variety of dishes to choose from.
A rich choice of food
The menu though, needs a bit of editing. Categories are not clearly listed. If you are for instance looking for continental food, you eventually will find it listed tucked in between some very different kinds of cuisine. Then again … it’s there.
There is Lao food, Thai food, Chinese food, lots of Vietnamese dishes, and … Western food, such as the good old French Fries
Oanh the musician
Sometimes, late at night, when guests have become friends, the ambience is set for Oanh, the chef. to play the guitar. Lest we not forget … she is a musician and composer.
Transcription of English syllables using Lao or Thai script
When I arrived in Vientiane last year in April, I went almost straight to the bookstalls behind Talat Sao and bought
Learning Lao for everybody.
An excellent book originally written in German by Klaus Werner. ISBN 3-89416-340-2 Publisher: Peter Rump Verlags GmbH Hauptstraße 198 D-33647 Bielefeld Germany
I taught myself how to transcribe English sounds using Lao script. It became one of my main tools when I was teaching Speaking and Listening at the Candlelight Academy. I had used that tool before when teaching at a technical college in HatYai Nai, Thailand.
Transcribing sounds using a native script is often met with controversy. It shouldn’t be really as it is only a tool, just like using IPA.
Using this tool is a two steps process. First you show your students how to split up a word in syllables using red dots. Then you write the sounds in their native script above them.
Even better … pronounce a given word from the list of new vocabulary very slowly to enable your students to distinguish between the various syllables that make up that particular word. Then you invite a student to split up that word according to the syllables they hear.
You, the teacher concludes by writing the sounds in their native script above the syllables. When complications arise it happens that you will need your students to help you writing the sounds. They will love to help you.
It’s not completely full proof. Some English sounds do not make part of their native language. Hence it becomes an impossible job to transcribe such sounds. The same is equally true for some of the sounds of the students’ native language.
The consonant V for instance causes trouble for local students because Lao and Thai speakers do not use that sound. So it is for us when we are faced with pronouncing an NG (ງ [Laotian] or ง [Thai]) as the starting consonant. It needs to be practised extensively.
The word goes around that one should only speak English when teaching English. Alternating English with a bit of the respective national language is frowned upon and sometimes even strictly forbidden. Foreign teachers are hence required to use the language immersion method at all levels and for all age groups.
Primary 2 (Songkhla Thailand) Full attention for Teacher Walter
Please allow me to state my personal opinion on this doctrine imposed on us, the foreign native and near native speakers of English who teach in South East Asia as a gig or as a real vocation. It is plain wrong! Total immersion only works wonders for children upon the age of about 10 years old — with some exceptions of course because there are always exceptions to any non-mathematical rule ^_^
It does however NOT work for teenagers, adolescents, and adults. Their native language development has already brought them completely outside the sphere of toddlers and young elementary school kids. You can teach them action words by immersion. Sure, you can. They expect and need however a lot more as they have lost the ability to acquire a language by simply being exposed to it. So, online dictionaries, thesauruses, and teachers who can speak a bit of the local language and understand quite a bit more, are an absolute must.
A teacher who does understand. T. Mattana assisting T. Allister.
I hear you disagree and object: “But we have teachers who assist the foreign teacher!”. Yes, some schools do assign local teachers to help the foreign teacher. Sometimes that works out really well. When the local teacher understands the foreign teacher at a more than basic level and actively participates you will have a team with added value.
One of those sweltering days, it must have been by the end of July or the beginning of August, our man arrived. Our man from Louisiana. Our man was not in a good shape. His toenails had grown to a length that we had never ever seen before. He walked slowly and could only walk the spiraling stairway up to the third floor taking pauses. When he started talking, he had a stutter and often could not remember the words he wanted to use. He had had a stroke.
Our man was not in a good shape though his accent still was. A lovely accent. A Louisiana accent. Melodious and enticing to the listener. With a banjo on my knee he would repeat over and over when we — Mr Photographer and I — mentioned Louisiana. He had been in Malaysia and Thailand, and wanted to visit Cambodia. Our man kept his spirits high.
Malaysia yes, the highlands. In a way to say thanks for having found some friends at the dorm we both received a sachet of black tea. Looking at the way I hang all my clothes suspending from the bed frame triggered a memory. He had been a sailor working for the US merchant navy all his life he told me. There was more. He had a son. A son in Texas with a very negative attitude. A son who would only complain to his old Dad. He did not want to listen to his son anymore.
One afternoon … he started stammering “I gotta … I gotta leave! I gotta … gotta leave! We really did not get it. What did he mean? He seemed to be fine before. Absorbed with our own issues and struggles we forgot to ask for details.
Dumb asses we had been. “I gotta leave! I gotta leave!”, had been his way of saying I cannot pay anymore. The guy temporarily in charge of the hotel while the manager was on a study trip had told him to pack and sack. So, he did. Once I realised that something was definitely wrong I tried to give him a call. No response. No answer, and again and again .. no answer. Our man from Louisiana was gone…
Yes, I am a scavenger. I am always looking around for whatever rejects and trashed objects are laying around for me to pick them up. I give those things a second life. I recycle, reinstate, reclaim, refurbish, and renovate. ‘Wiederverwertung’ in German; giving things a new value again. Récupération … Emmaüs. Abbé Pierre! Emmaüs ou venger l’homme. The book.
This time I found egg trays and a big file holder. The egg trays will serve to improve the acoustics in one of the classrooms of the Candlelight Academy. A classroom with disturbing echos. The fileholder has already found its proper purpose on top of my wardrobe. Life is good when you are in the knowledge of recycling and reclaiming.
Oui, Mesdames et Messieurs. On fait bien la récupération!
A contemporary saga of insanity and homelessness meandering towards an understanding of the human condition. An understanding which eventually culminates in discovering sanity at the horizon. The reader is led on a journey to discover the key elements of life as it is experienced by both our goodness and our ugliness. Hell on earth in eight stages with paradise on the horizon. Or is it beyond? Beyond the horizon?
Dreadfully effective in growing to understand how make-believe supersedes the reality of our momentary presence on earth.
This is Brendan Shusterman’s first and very successful solo venture into the challenging world of publishing. The Shopping Cart Serenade … Do you dare?
Brendan Shusterman teaches English at Assumption College in Bangrak district, Bangkok, Thailand.
Vanavond geen Lao bier. Goedkoop, lekker en rein bier. Heel anders dan het bier in Thailand. Vanavond ook geen koffie, De laatste vandaag was bij Lao Kham. Een klein kopje Mocha.
Koffie houdt je wakker en alert. En uit je slaap!
Ik doe ook aan naaldwerk. Doorgesleten boorden van overhemden verwijder ik en maak daarmee een Chinese/Japanse kraag. Gevuld met een deel van de versleten boord of zoals mijn eerste met een stukje Laotiaanse mannensarong. Ik knip er gewoon een stukje af. Lang zijn ze meer dan genoeg. Heel anders dan de — zelfs jonge- — mannen hier heb ik … géén bierbuikje.
Ook dat naaldwerk is heerlijk rustgevend.
Vanavond Infusion Tilleul Menthe. Daar slaap ik heerlijk op.
Morgen ben ik jarig. Ik heb mezelf al drie nieuwe badhanddoeken cadeau gedaan à 45k LAK per stuk. Dat is nog geen 2 USD per stuk.
Oude voorraad van een promotieactie voor een of ander luxeproduct. Het luxeproduct is er niet meer maar de handdoeken waren er nog steeds van voor de covid. Nog eentje ligt er op de plank in de winkel op de hoek van de oprijlaan naar het appartementencomplex waar ik nu leef en werk. Zal ik ‘m kopen?
s’Morgens sta ik meestal wat later op. Een bak flink sterke koffie markeert vervolgens het begin van de werkdag.
Veel informatie willen en soms ook moeten verwerken, maakt dat ik ook veel slaap nodig heb. Tien uur is vrij normaal. Alleen al daardoor ben ik anders dan mijn leeftijdsgenoten die ‘s nachts juist veel minder slapen en overdag geregeld indutten. Zodra ik op gang ben gekomen ben ik ook nauwelijks meer te stoppen. ‘s Morgens nog in bed en ‘s avonds nog niet volledig in slaap bereid ik mijn lessen voor. Gewoon in mijn hoofd want dat werkt het prettigst.
Ik heb een collega die in hetzelfde jaar geboren is als ik. Een collega die jaloers is. Ook hij is anders. Hij heeft een hekel aan de leerlingen en bereidt zijn lessen niet voor. Al jaren draait hij dezelfde lessen en doet daarbij heel gewichtig. Dat werkt vaak in zijn voordeel.
Behalve dan bij de meer bijzonder dan andere leerlingen. Die stellen hem vervelende vragen. Vragen waar hij geen echt goed antwoord op kan geven. Daarom heb ik die leerlingen toegewezen gekregen.
www.taal.cafe is er mede voor de leerlingen. Omdat de twee jongsten — 7 en 11 jaar oud — niet alles mogen lezen, heb ik op een aantal artikelen een wachtwoord gezet.
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